Bad News

I really, really suck at resolutions. Obviously. I'm a starter, not a finisher. But that's what this is about, practicing finishing. This time, I have a real good, real personal excuse. I've been so distracted, and in so much pain. This situation has forced me to really examine my core values, and I'm glad to say I stayed intact. But as I came back up from under this burden, I realized that this is exactly what happens ever time I try to make some kind of change or routine for myself. If I start to work out, if I start to attack my hoard of belongings, if I start to take care of myself even when it doesn't seem important, or when I don't feel like it, things are beautiful for a while. I drink my water, take my meds, and eat my veggies and I feel great. But as soon as something happens to  challenge this new stability or pattern, I panic. I retreat. I stop. I let it go, and watch my quality of life slip away. I'm tired of doing that. I'm not going to stop this time. I deserve to have a life that I can draw satisfaction from. I can do this.