The other night, I had some friends over. More accurately, I had a friend, and her friend over. We got to talking about some serious ishh as frequently happens, and while her permission, I gave my friend's friend my two cents. I went on for a bit, and wrapped up, feeling kinda awkward.
Everyone had gotten really quiet, and was watching me. I was convinced I'd said something really stupid, but she just thanked me, and told me that I was 'wise'. Now, I'm not sure I'd agree, but I like that idea.
People spend a lot of time wanting to be beautiful, to be thin, wanting to be smart. I'd like to be those three things, but not like I'd like to be wise. As a little homeschooled kid, in a bad situation, I spent a lot of time reading, picking out people from my books that I wanted to be. I wanted to be able to help people, to be respected, and to have a pinch of intelligence. I wanted to be someone's Obi Wan Kenobi, I thought that was what wisdom meant. I read my Bible, and I prayed to be wise, like Solomon.
Ten years later, I may not be quite as faithful, but I still want to be wise. I've led an interesting life, (and I'm only 22!), and I've seen a lot of pain. I've always worked with people, and it's given me opportunities to learn like no other, on top of my personal experiences. I try to help, I try to do and say the right things, and I try to always help someone in need. I've been hurt, and I know what it's like, I never want that for anyone. I've been raped, people have tried to seriously endanger my life, I've lost friends and family. I've been in unhealthy relationships, dealt with serious health issues, and fought for my own lost causes. I have watched someone die, as their identity slowly slipped away from them, lost to the ravages of illness.
And now, a sad girl in my living room thinks I'm wise. All I want is to prove her right.
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